Protests alone cannot be the way forward
We Pakistanis have a problem. One that is ingrained to such an extent that to the wide majority, it appears not be an issue at all. We witness it happening every day, yet seem oblivious. And not just oblivious, but happy to partake in this mass cultural delusion.
Ours is a nation that loves diatribe, one that loves to complain about how everything is heading downwards. Continue reading
Choosing your academic future: what plays the biggest part?
My A’ Levels examinations start in a month’s time. This means that at this moment, I am very much supposed to be occupied with my books. I must seek the knowledge they hold within, I must learn the tactics of the trade and beat CIE at their own game. I must be baffled daily by new concepts that constantly seem to emanate from the limitless void of these books. Continue reading
Being in touch with current affairs is a primary facet of being a pseudo-intellectual!
Want to look cool in your social circle? Want to be the always-up-to-date guy that the Boss loves most? Want the cheat sheet to a successful professional life? Read on. Great tips on being a pseudo intellectual follow, tailored to the elaborate needs of the Pakistani citizen…
1. The biggest secret in the sacred art of becoming a pseudo intellectual is the generation of the aura of being the most knowledgeable being alive. Continue reading
Earth Hour? We celebrate several every day!
What follows is a collection of facts concerning Pakistani ideology. Some of these may be lame, and some not funny at all, but they represent an honest description of the way a common Pakistani thinks, speaks, acts. Funny or not. You decide…
1. We are the most environment friendly nation imaginable. Seen those mindless Westerners raise a hullabaloo each year with their “Earth Hour“? We can do better: 10 hours a day, sometimes more. Continue reading
Falling of a plane: not just a euphemism!
You’ve probably heard that it can rain animals. Its mostly cats and dogs. Sometimes birds might fancy themselves to plonk on your heads. But when a man rains upon your rooftop and scares the bejeezus out of you, it means something is going so, so wrong.
I hate diatribe. I abhor hyperbole. So I wouldn’t go on and say that Pakistan is in tatters, and any time soon the forces of Evil are going to overrun us, claim our motherland for themselves and force us to underground and live in dingy caves. But neither would I shut my eyes to the obvious reality and claim that everything is just fine. Continue reading
Starting a blog: why you might join in too!
While 2010 is safely tucked away into our memories, 2011 is up and going. I surmised, with the few intellectual powers I have in my prowess to start the New Year by narrating to my readers a story.
What follows is the story of how Your Average Guy ended up starting this blog. It’s a long, boring, tedious tale, but you will probably make through with less yawns than what I managed when watching the latest Resident Evil flick. Continue reading
2011: Hopefully better in every way
Only a few days left before 2010 too becomes a figment of our memory. The last few days will likely be taken up with frantic phone calls, mistyped SMSes, glittery e-cards and much brooding. Brooding? What has brooding got to do with the New Year, you ask? I believe that this is the time when amid the celebrations, we review our actions, our deeds (and misdeeds) in this year and muse upon their implications. It’s a time when resolutions are made, relations are mended and apologies exchanged. The world over, people seek new dimensions, renew their spirits, and generally soldier on… Continue reading
WikiLeaks: disastrous consequences for Pakistan?
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way Continue reading
Breaking news: Overdone, isn’t it?
2 a.m. in the midnight. You are chatting away on the internet (unwise, that) with your TV on the mute, when a flurry of color erupts on the screen and a sign starts flashing. ‘Breaking news’, it says. You hang up on the chat, apprehensive and wary. What on earth could have possibly provoked this sign to pop up at this time of the night?
Turns out someone’s cow had been run over by a truck. Continue reading
Video games: know the whole picture…
The screen was splattered with drops of blood, dead bodies were littered everywhere and gunshots pierced through the air. As mommy entered her son’s room, she was horror struck by what she saw. And from then on until the end of forever, she vowed to denounce video games everywhere as the sole cause for her son’s aggressive demeanor.
If only mommy had paid some attention to the DVD’s her little angel slipped into the shopping trolley at the start of every month, things would have been different. Continue reading
